Myth #1 – Prenuptial agreements are only for the wealthy. No. Prenuptial agreements are for ordinary people. Given the high legal fees and stress involved in a divorce, the frequency with which relationships end nowadays, as well as peoples’ increasing financial sophistication and independence, a prenuptial agreement can benefit just about everyone.
Myth #2 – Prenuptial agreements are only useful if your relationship breaks down. No. Prenuptial agreements can be useful estate planning tools. Without a prenup, your spouse may be able to invalidate your carefully thought out estate plan. A prenup can be especially helpful if you have children from a previous marriage or have family heirlooms that you want to keep in the family.
Myth #3 – Prenuptial agreements are unromantic. No. Being able to sit down and discuss with your partner both of your future financial plans and expectations for the relationship will lead to a more solid foundation for your relationship than simply expecting your love to take care of everything.
Myth #4 – Prenuptial agreements won’t be upheld by the courts. No. Although courts occasionally do invalidate prenups, these are normally ones prepared without the help of attorneys, or ones where there was coercion in getting one partner’s signature. If you have a properly drafted prenup, and there was no duress, it is likely that your prenuptial agreement will stand up in court.
Myth #5 – Only men want prenuptial agreements. No. Prenuptial agreements are a useful way of setting out your and your partner’s expectations for the relationship. There’s no need for a prenup to be biased in either partner’s favor. For instance, a woman may insist that if she is going to stay home and raise children, that her prenuptial agreement include provisions to compensate her for this interruption in her career through spousal support.
Myth #6 – Prenuptial agreements are expensive. No. Compared to the cost of an average wedding or an average divorce, prenuptial agreement are a bargain. The best way to think about it is like buying insurance: it’s a small one-time cost for something you never hope to use, but if you ever need it, you’ll be glad you have it, and it will save you a lot of money.
Any person who gets married without a prenuptial agreement is a fool!!!! Getting married is signing a contract, why not tweak it up so its more fair for each party! Remember life can head in many different ways don’t be a fool!
-Joe Laney
Those things suck!! work it out with your spouse and be happy
Thank you for the myth buster 3 and 4.
Myth #3 – Prenuptial agreements are unromantic.
Myth #4 – Prenuptial agreements won’t be upheld by the courts.
The explanation of these particular myths helped me understand that when my partner and I can talk about the hard things, then everything else is ‘a peice of cake’. Our relationship grew stronger when we talked about a “pre-nup”.
Maui, you deserve nothing more than a life free from him. His money is his money. His property is his property. Prenups are put in place to protect both parties from the greed and avarice of spouses who feel they’ve been wronged–even if they have been. Your marriage wasn’t about money. It was about love. That’s what your divorce should be about, too.
Quite helpfull. Lawyers, kids, and other blood suckers ready to pounce on a well meaning contract between husband and wife.
Everyone sees “prenup†and thinks divorce and marriage failure. The thing that is an absolute, in my opinion, is that if one of both of the people have a previous marraige with childern there must be a prenup for estate planning purposes. In this type of prenup you can leave the “what happens “if†we divorce†out tottaly. It is for the benifit of one or both previous families and is set up for “what happens when we “do†dieâ€. Do you really want state laws to possibly disiherit your children or your to be spouses childern. Do you really want the courts to determine who gets what, we write wills for that. And if there is not a prenup for “what happens when we “do†die†state laws may preempt what you want your will to do.
Even if you are deeply in love and believe you don’t need the “what happens “if†we divorce†prenup, I see no emotional liablity in discussing the “what happens when we “do†die†prenup. It is a total no brainer and lets your potential spouse know that not only do you care about them you care about your childern and their children.
Prenuptial agreements are worthless (in Texas) for the man if there is a woman judge presiding over the divorce. Women judges will always screw the man no matter how good he is.
right on doug. you definitely know what you’re talking about! Fuck the female judges.
Yeah, those that bear children always have some sort of greed at mind! Fucking females!
I’d like to know why Robbie, a man who obviously hates women because he is envious of their ability to bear children, is looking at a site that implies that he intends to get married. He sounds like a self-centered, greedy loser to me. Do women a favor, Robbie. Stay single.
Ask Tiger Woods…$750 Million
Prenuptial gives me pressure..I didn’t want it..it said it’s not about trusting but “IT IS”it’s about uncertainty feelings of the relationship.Why not just be happy and “WHAT IF” happens just accept it.People who wants prenuptial is just scared that they might loose what they have been save..IT’s really about not trusting..
Good advice. I saw a joke the other day that said, “Marriage, betting half your stuff that you can love the other person forever!” funny but, without a prenup it’s generally true.
Good advice. I saw a joke the other day that said, “Marriage, betting half your stuff that you can love the other person forever!” funny but, without a prenup it’s generally true.
…and the other person will love you the rest of your life.
Can a person’s Will change the distribution of that same person’s assets that were setup in a legal prenup ?
Would you own a home without home owners insurance? Would you own a car without car insurance? Well this is marriage insurance.
If you trust one another and never plan on divorcing then great. The prenup will never be used so signing one shouldn’t be an issue 🙂
And I disagree with the idea its about trust and uncertain feelings. You can trust your partner 100% and be 100% certain. That doesn’t mean they feel the same or will feel the same 10 years from now. Shyt happens. If you don’t believe it turn on the news.
I signed a prenuptual agreement with my husband a very very wealthy man I don’t have any interest in his millions but since I moved into his home which by the way was his ex wife’s home and two girl friends before. I am a wonderful wife who didn’t need a man for money. I have asked that he include me on title to just the house (there are two more). Only to make me feeling like we have something together(to old for kids). He said never my feelings are hurt He is willing the house to me if he dies but not willing to share it with me when he is alive.
I think pre-nups end up being self fulfilling prophesies. If you think there is an easy way out of the marriage, then you don’t have as much of a reason to work on keeping the relationship alive. My boyfriend asked if I would ever be willing to sign a prenup and I lost it. Does he not trust me at all? I just want to cry because it makes me feel like I’m a gold digging whore. I would be willing to share my life with him and all he cares about is money? Is nothing sacred anymore, or have we all just fallen prey to greed and selfishness?
Marriage is not a contract, its a scam. Take it from somebody who knows and has been there. Marriage is just another gold digger scam where Feminists use the church to do their dirty work. Think of it as the VIP room sponsored by your local church.(And a lot more profitable for your local divorce industry lawyers) Get a prenup and realize that
as a man you will be a victim in court, even the best prenup cant save you, but its better than nothing.
When deciding to marry you must Trust. Signing a prenup says you dont. Prenups are contracts that state you’re thinking neg and predicting the marraige will fail and a prenup is to prove it. ppl think its the easy way out BUt, Little do you know theirs no easy way out in divorce. call me old fashioned. couples can make agreements when divorcing instead.
My sister made her 21yo son have a prenuptial with what turned out to be his Gold digging girlfriend ,boy was he lucky. She tried to take his House. No luck
I was completely against the pre-nup but after reading so many truths rather than myths about it? I feel confident that I would want one for myself and children entering into a marriage. Thanks!
I have a question. Lets say that your dad remarries has a pre nup and after 6 months of marriage he passes away. The new wife wants to take something that is not hers based on the pre nup where does he children stand law wise?
Hi, my name is Kyle.
just recently it occured to me that the money my dad has been saving for me by putting equity into his home and do the right thing with his money and not splurging for his own sake, could potentially be up for grabs. I feel i have the right intentions for wanting a prenup and a marriage. Seems the two for many people contradict… Females are somewhat unpredictable through my experiances.. She loves me i love her, however family money is my families money. her familys money is her families money.. our money is hers and my money… the money that we achieve together.. a deserving relationship is one where the ability of those involved contribute to the rewards you share. Does anyone know devorce laws of ontario if you live in alberta and someone in your family may pass away in the next few years but your looking to start your family now?? i want to know about inheiritence. in such a case..
Wow. All these people so against a prenup. I want one and will not marry my man without one. He wants one too. Neither of us are rich, by any means. However, he has a 2 year old from a previous marriage, whose mother would not be able to resist the urge to come after my income for child support once he and I marry. A prenup will protect my income from this. I do not want to pay her rent and utilities for the next 20 years. Anything his daughter wants or needs, we will provide for her. A prenup protects him in the assets he wants to leave to his daughter should something happen to him. Without this in the prenup, regardless of a legal will, those wishes could be overturned by a court and what he wanted for his daughter will go to me. It protects both of us. And in neither of these instances are we thinking about divorce. One of these two scenarios will happen one day, there is no denying that (the exception being he outlives me). This isn’t us assuming we will end up in divorce court; it’s protecting ourselves from the inevitable. And I, for one, would never get married to someone who couldn’t discuss all the financial aspects of a prenup with me. That’s just stupid (and in itself, a recipe for divorce).
I’m not against a prenup. My mom owns land, has bank account, and and owns a beautiful expensive home. She married a man without a prenup. This man has grown children and grown grandkids . Now they are not getting along and she wants out of the marriage. well guess what he has done his homework he knows he can get 1/3 or 1/2 of whatever she has and he is going for it!!! Why give a man or a woman things that don’t belong to them. Prenups are protection from when the marriage does go wrong. Protects your loved one you leave behind. Without a prenup you leave your possessions for someone else to enjoy. With that said hurray for prenups!!
“…I, for one, would never get married to someone who couldn’t discuss all the financial aspects of a prenup with me. That’s just stupid (and in itself, a recipe for divorce).”
Well said, M!! In my opinion those who are against these pre-nups are being really defensive. If you’re secure in your financial relationship, there should be no problem putting it in writing! It’s an insurance policy. Has no one here ever had a CRAZY EX? I’m not even talking about married exes. I mean that people do crazy things when emotions run high. Anyone who’s been majorly heartbroken or broken someone else’s heart can attest to the fact that it can make you feel NUTS; later you might be appalled at your own actions, once you’ve come back to a normal, healthy place. I don’t believe that my fiancé or I will ever turn into monsters if one day we split up, but I’d rather we reach an agreement now, while things are good and we are in our rational states, doing it out of love and respect for our future marriage.
“…I, for one, would never get married to someone who couldn’t discuss all the financial aspects of a prenup with me. That’s just stupid (and in itself, a recipe for divorce).”
Well said, M!! In my opinion those who are against these pre-nups are being really defensive. If you’re secure in your financial relationship, there should be no problem putting it in writing! It’s an insurance policy. Has no one here ever had a CRAZY EX? People do crazy things when emotions run high. Anyone who’s been majorly heartbroken or broken someone else’s heart can attest to the fact that it can make you feel NUTS; later you might be appalled at your own actions, once you’ve come back to a normal, healthy place. I don’t believe that my fiancé or I will ever turn into monsters if one day we split up, but I’d rather we reach an agreement now, while things are good and we are in our rational states, doing it out of love and respect for our future marriage.
Can anyone recommend a good lawyer in Northern Kentucky for a pre nup . Thanks
Thank you for sharing this info. It’s indeed very useful.
I’am afree with the prenuptial agrements, it’s a better way to safe your assets, and also if you have children.
After this I think that I`ll need a prenup, just in case of divorce or maybe a better idea is just not to get married
Is true a prenuptial agreement is necesary for the financial things, for the children, also is cero romantic and help you to be more organized.
I think It’s important hava one but the thing is that you should use it in case of divorce and no include something like what time you got to bed. so include money is important because of children and who will be taking care of them.
the 6 Myths all of them are the first thing that you think when you accept or agree with your date, for me prenuptial agreement is the way that you keep all the promise that you did or do while the dating, it’s not romantic for me but to other people or couples yes, financial is important but you need to be carefully
“Myth #3 – Prenuptial agreements are unromantic. No. Being able to sit down and discuss with your partner both of your future financial plans and expectations for the relationship will lead to a more solid foundation for your relationship than simply expecting your love to take care of everything.”
A woman may say about prenuptials that getting married is about love, not money. A man has every right to come back with: Are you marrying me because you love me or is it about the money? MSH
For anyone not wanting a prenuptial because they say it’s being negative and we must not think about divorce while getting married, I say this: Almost all divorces are by couples that don’t have a prenuptial. Prenuptials don’t cause divorce. However, refusing to discuss and negotiate a prenuptial is a very good indication to not get married.
Agree that these are most common myths associated with Prenuptial agreement and its good that you clarify all these here through this post which will surely going to help many peoples
Facing a divorce from a narcissist who was, indeed, pre-planning divorce has shown me the ugly side of prenups. I was a young woman truly in love, desiring to spend a life with a man who had four sons and an ex-wife to support. I knew nothing about prenups. He claimed he wanted to spend his life with me, the prenup would never come into play because we were going to grow old together, etc. Then, after we married, I saw the real man who was intimidating, controlling, verbally and emotionally abusive and a pathological liar. He treated me like he loved me BEFORE the marriage, got me to sign a prenup, then showed his true colors. It’s not my first marriage, and I am a woman of faith, so he knew it would be incredibly difficult for me to walk away. After 18 long painful years, I have done just that; but facing the prenup battle just makes it so much worse. He got me in a vulnerable place and took advantage of me, and I bet an awful lot of other men are doing the same thing. Marriage is based on trust. I don’t care how many children you have with another spouse. Handle it through revocable trusts, wills, etc. DON’T go the prenup route unless you want a spouse with a noose around their neck, always feeling like they have to “walk on eggshells” in order to keep you happy so you don’t divorce them. It’s an awful way to live. I would NEVER sign one again.
I have been talking to my fiance about the prenup for a while now. We have a good relationship but he is a vindictive person. He once stood outside and unscrewed the lights on the house that he bought me for Christmas because he was mad at me. But he feels that we don’t need a prenup. I told him that he has proven to me that he will try to get back at me on more than one occassion (the lights was just one example…he put them back later). I simply asked him to protect the investments that I have for my children now (what I built before we met). He has not made those same sacrifices and does not have anything that he is bringing to the table. I told him that I wanted us to start from our marriage and start building for all of the children, I just wanted to protect what I already had established. He told me that I was petty and materialistic. I think prenups are a way to discuss things in advance (like others have said a type of insurance or just good pre-planning while emotions are not high). At any rate, he told me to find someone to sign my prenup. So I asked him point blank was he planning on splitting what I had with all of the children (his and mine). He finally admitted that he was (even though he has never paid on any of the investments and he nor his children have ever lived in my house). It was an eye opener! You better at least talk about a prenup before you get married. I think it will tell you where the other person’s heart and mind truly stand.
I dont know the statistics but more marriages fail than succeed …so why not get a prenump ? I did . Yes I do trust my soon to be wife …but if the unfortunate happens and we separate . We will not be friends in a divorce …everyone is upset and then people play dirty.. trying to take everything they can ..then there will not be trust.. broken hearts turn love into hate….my prenump is set up to protect us both from each other if there was a divorce.. the terms of the prenump must be agreed upon by both people … We both hope it never has to be used but if it does then we will both be glad we did it … cut and dry who gets what .. instead of dragging each other through court fighting over stuff…
Prenuptial Agreements can be very helpful in cases where the husband or the wife owns a business. As long as both parties agree, it could save time, money, and a lot of hurt feelings.
Most states are separate property states. One does not need a prenuptial agreement to protect ones assets. When entering into a marriage, one just has to be careful not to commingle finances. Of course, this creates a tit-for-tat kind of marriage that I could not imagine anyone wanting to enter. It also allows one spouse to trump the other with the “money card”, which is another awful thing to do in a relationship.
The most precious thing that can come from a marriage (between young people) is a child. Custody is by far the most costly (finanically and emotionally) aspect of a divorce. If the woman decides to go this route…she can use the courts to kick a father out of his own home, giving the mom custody, just to be on the safe side. While the dad pays for attorney fees (fighting for precious custody time), he will have to pay for child support, and for the new home he’ll have to rent/buy. He will have to figure out a way to hold down his job too. Then, at the end of it all, the court might make him pay for the attorney fees of the mom.
Custody cannot be established in a prenuptial agreement. That’s right, for men, the most precious thing in this world cannot be protected by a prenup. This is an unspoken truth that men are not made aware of before they marry. Women have a lot more equality in the workforce than what men have within their own families. In the eyes of the courts, men are second class citizens when it comes to being parents.
Most helpful. Need to get signing people.
Anyone know a good lawyer in Houston, TX?
I signed a prenup in regards to protecting my his finances. I was a new bride and just so happy to be with him that I signed the contract. I relied on him financially for help during our marriage because I really don’t make a lot of money. Now that he wants out of the relationship, I am truly afraid that I will be kicked to the curb(as he says). I still love this man and want to be with him. I feel like such a victim.
Nat, you made yourself a victim . Your husband married someone who was needy and unable to stand on her own two feet . The prenup protected him , you should have had the motivation , during the marriage to better yourself , but you chose not to . You should not feel like a victim for trying to victimize him . I suppose your lack of ambition caused him to lose respect for you , leading to the divorce . So , as a modern women please have the courage to face up to your short comings , for the sake of all women that want to be treated as equals . That is what the prenup does and no longer makes marriage an opportunity for profit if it does not work out
James Nolan, Nat stated that she didn’t make a lot of money, not that she sat around all day. They may work equal time. She may have been a teacher, and her husband a doctor. Does not mean eithre lacked ambition or motivation. I’ve dated both and the teacher was the better choice for me.
Pete, if she was a teacher, then she shouldnt fear “getting kicked to the curb” because she has a respectable income and can take care of herself.
She has no RIGHT to being taken care of, and if she didnt want to get kicked to the curb then she should’ve taken the time to either A-perfect their relationship or B-develop marketable skills. You are not entitled to money simply because you bet your livelihood on a relationship that didnt work out
Gee Doug, are you talking about the growing hate men, victimizing men culture? Attacking men BECAUSE they are men?
I have been a strong supporter of gender equality, this is NOT gender equality, most notable support for more/equal pay for women.
The OP, operating psychology has become one of an accusing attitude, that includes derisive, hateful non stop attacks on men, whether in tv commercials, sanctimonious statements by those in the media promoting their political beliefs (instead of reporting the news)..
Who is bullying men?
The same ones that claim they are promoting Gender Equality.
You can’t have it both ways and have any credibility as a truthful person.
This is not a political observation, has nothing to do with ones voting habits, its just a “plain ol fact” that a growing number of us (men & women) are watching from the sidelines.
They also attack anyone (incl women) if ANYONE so much as even questions a talking point of their mantra.
They preach “tolerance”, but don’t tolerate any view but their own. Who do they go after, ANY ONE THAT QUESTIONS THEIR THESIS.
They truly don’t believe in democracy, freedom of thought, freedom of speech and open debate.
They tend to call for restrictions on thought and speech. The violator could be guilty of “hate speech”, (think Gulags fmr Soviet Union), (ie), putting restrictions on certain words, etc.
The desire, the motivation to control speech & thought are the center piece of cultures like North Korea, the Taliban, and the fmr Soviet Union.
So when you see comments like the one Doug made, along with others, there is a reason for it.
They are simply responding to sexism and the attack men mindset, that runs against the things we claim to believe as a country.
You can’t restrict thought and speech and be a free country, that’s a contradiction of terms.
What has happened to our country?
Men, please re-think your attitude toward women.
Prenups are a tool used by controlling men to keep the little woman in line. By the time he shows his true colors, he’s destroyed her career, her reputation and her self-esteem. She has no access to money and no way out.
No one will believe her story because men don’t take responsibility. It’s always the woman’s fault!
This will only change when men grow up and take responsibility for their actions. Take the time to learn how to love a woman before you get married.
A prenup just gives you less incentive to work at your marriage. If you care more about your bank account than making her happy, YOU are the gold-digger. Not your wife.
How many men kill their wives? Many more than the opposite. How many men have to hide in shelters from their evil, control-freak wives who refused them access to money? None. There are no shelters for men, because men don’t need them.
Please take some time to learn about women and what men do to us before calling us names.
If you love your assets more than a woman, you have no business getting married.
Jenna, it goes both ways. There are good men who want prenups to protect themselves. Lets not get carried away and assume they are all controlling men. Women rob men of their life savings and future earnings just as much, if not more, than men control the “little woman”.
Nobody will believe her story? She is the only one they believe. What happens when police are called for domestic violence? the man is the one in handcuffs before a word is said, no matter who called.
I cant respond to half of your points… women like you are why men are on strike as Helen Smith put it and also why we now go to foreign countries to seek more feminine, traditional women.
I’ve always been a respectful, good looking guy and I make low 6 figures while under 30 years old and I will tell you this, I will NOT marry a western girl but if I did I would for sure have a prenup signed. Why? because I am not going to risk what I have built for myself and my possible future family.
And… how many men kill themselves because of their wife? because she took his children, because she slept with his “friends” while he was away(ever been to an army base when a big deployment goes out?), because he cant even afford to live in a trailer while he pays child support to kids he barely sees as well as alimony.
Jenna, it goes both ways and don’t pretend like it doesn’t.
My mom passed away in 1998. My dad remarried in 2007. My dad and (now) stepmom had a VERY detailed, thorough, attorney fabricated prenuptial agreement. What she came in with she kept and what my dad came in with he got. It was also thoroughly informed upon death of either was the same situation, hers is hers and he’s is his. There was also a Will that upon his death EVERYTHING of my dads was to go to me and my sisters. In addition ALL my dads bank accounts, I was also on the accounts, as I had been for the previous 14 years. Just 2 years prior to dad passing away he also had another attorney review and reaffirm both the Will and prenuptial agreement. Now here is the kicker. The step mom took it to court. The judge gave her EVERYTHING! He said regardless of any Will or contract agreement he can choose who he wants to receive whatever he decides. She got $400,000. Me and my sisters got nothing. A Will and / or prenuptial agreement are not worth the paper they are written on!!!!!
[…] only been seen as a business decision that is only about assets and their distribution not about the level of trust you have before the […]
Well, boys (and I do mean boys)….it’s not only men who want prenups. When I married my husband I had my own architecture practice for ten years and didn’t think it was fair that he was out playing and having fun during those years while I built a business that would be paying for two thirds of everything we had. Of course, it’s fair if we stay together….but if we didn’t I wanted to keep ALL of my business, not just half. Five years later we are happily married and I attribute it to the fact that he knows he needs to pull his share, which only one-third but is sufficient for both of us.
I am marrying significantly older gentleman. He is absolutely great man, but I was burnt in my previous marriage. My fiance has his own business and in much better financial situation than I am. Do I need a prenup? I am confused. help!
Part of being married is sharing the assets. If you don’t want to share, don’t get married. It’s that simple.
All that the energy you’re putting into holding onto your money should go into saving your marriage. Talk to your wife. Just as important, LISTEN TO HER.
I’m tired of hearing men whine about how their crazy wife took them to the cleaners. Be a husband! If she’s truly crazy why did you leave her children with her? Because deep down inside you KNOW she’s not crazy.
Stop complaining. Be a husband. Be a father.
To Jenna (and the other mooch women): Marriage is not a business. Lots of women are scammers and the courts are on the women’s side. If I were to get married I would get married in a state that 100% upholds pre-nup agreements and no pre-nup, no marriage. I’m also scheduled to get a vasectomy because I’m not going to have some woman skip the pill one night, get pregnant, and force me to pay child support for 20 years for a child that she doesn’t share and the courts don’t force her to share. Forget it! You women are getting away with a lot of sh!t. I’m also going to put video all throughout my home so that if she tries to scream abuse there will be a record of what really transpired. Women are liars and cheats, and the courts and cops fall for women’s lies.
It might be unromantic, but is, unfortunately, necessary. Prenups do get set aside for a variety of reasons, so they are hardly “ironclad”. I’ve met lawyers who are proud of the fact that they can get out of ANY contract… and prenups are just a contract (sadly, not enforced like most contracts).
And, for any female who has an emotional reaction against having a prenup, hey, it’s your gender that files the overwhelming majority of divorces (up to 90% among college-educated couples). It just makes good business sense.
[…] Prenups are not just for the wealthy, they’re for ordinary people to use as an important financial planning tool for the future. It’s just a small part of the financial dialogue you need to have with your spouse. […]
@Jenna. Prenups are about making sure that no spouse gets more money than the agreed amount. Prenups are what can protect couples from any unfair assets distribution. Not all men are evil and not all women are victims. The men here seem to be using Logic and Critical thinking instead of basing everything off of “love/trust”. People change over the years, so having a document that can protect both spouses is very great. However it’s still a choice if the couple doesn’t want a prenup. Again not all women are the victims or the men are evil. Evil and Good can come from any gender.
My husband and I got together shortly after both of our spouses died of the same disease, lung cancer. I was married 27 years….very happily…he was married 33.,.,.happy, but I don’t think he had the marriage I did. He has a lot more money that I do. He owns his own business and has several rental properties. I came to him with no debt, and a little over $100,000. He has no debt, and $2million in assets. He has two grown sons, I have one grown son. They are all good kids that work and have careers. Lo and behold, the day before we got married he had me sign a pre-nup. I was quite angry about it, but, I had already quit my job and planned on retiring. I did sign it. We had a small wedding, the church was reserved, And we had a small reception afrerward. I will be honest…that whole ordeal has changed how I feel about him. Everytime I think about it, I* get sick to my stomach. I had suggested we get married and join our assets and make out a will. I didn’t want his business, or any part of his rental properties. All I wanted was a percentage of his life insurance to help pay for his funeral costs…the rest could all go to his children. And a third of his house when it sold. We could married 20 years and I still would only ask for 1/3. Well, it’s been six months and nothing has changed yet. My feelings are deteriorating for him daily because I don’t feel married,. I feel like his whore. The whole thing has made me sick, and I wish I never would’ve quit my job and married this selfish, greedy asshole.
Jenna, Marie and “against prenup”… You are all pinheads. If you knew anything about business dealings which a divorce has been turned into, thanks to courts and ugly, greedy spouses of both genders, you would understand that trust and love are not enough. A contract is a must.
A prenup just clearly states what the assets are BEFORE the marriage. Everything after is 50/50. I’ve been married twice 3 kids from 1st marriage. I never expected to be divorced again asked for prenup 2nd wife refused. I took money from family inheritance to buy house land all now community property -money my father wanted to pay for his grandkids college. All gone. I will never make that mistake again.
my man is 80 i am 68 he has all his financial stuff all ready for what he wants to do. i have money from home being sold. we each need nothing from each other financially. yet emotional stuff we want to be together legally and spiritualy, so marriage will do this. i want nothing from him he wants nothing from me. just ourselves so i say this is good plan.
Dear Heartbroken,
Sorry to hear about your narcissist ex-husband. I too experienced the same. He had a new supply, discarded me using a situation that I couldn’t win either way I chose, also injured my hand and changed the locks. Because he is a lawyer, I felt helpless. I had to go back to my mother’s house. He knows I had previous injuries aquiref during our marriage, that prohibit me from working. He has not given me any support for the last 10 months. I thought about seeking assistance elsewhere. My advice to anyone thinking they have found a wonderful man or woman to spend the rest of their life with, is wait, wait, wait. This type cannot keep up appearances for over a year. Ask people in the town about them, especially if you are not from the area. Do a background check. I signed this pauper’s prenup because I wanted to show him I was marrying him for the right reasons. My experience showed he only used it to abuse me, my relationship with my family, verbal abuse, control, and the ultimate “physical abuse.” Again, please look before you leap! I admit I could have said no, but by then I had already worked out my notice, I had no job and was dependant on him. Just the way he wanted it. I signed it the day before we married. “My Fault.” Count yourself blessed no matter how you had to leave, injured or just walked out. Like my experience, he or she may end up really hurting the next person, physically. It’s not worth it. Be free!